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25 August 2008 @ 11:33 pm
When exactly did they become my main fandom?  

I hope this is just temporary, but it seems like the Albus/Gellert fanlisting is down. Does anyone else have this problem? It can't disappear just like this... *sigh*

So, I have a bunch of fics to finish and some originals to ponder and maybe even actually write. What do I do? Write another ficlet, of course! This time it may be a product of my strange state of mind (I think I would get alarmed if I happened to be in any normal state of mind for once), although, as always, I'll leave the judgment up to you.

I suspect that sometimes when I hit a slump with all my stuff, I just string together something short in a day or two to prove to myself that I can still do it. Not sure what I am proving this time. That I can start and finish something just because I want to, probably. Futile, I know.

Title: Unlike Him
Pairing: Albus/Gellert
Rating: SFW
Word Count: ~290 including the quote
Summary: Some feelings will never quite fit.
Notes: Musings on liking and loving in Albus and Gellert's context. I wondered about including the quote for a bit, but then again, it was that scene that ultimately convinced me to go for this pairing when I first read DH. And I will admit now that I have no idea if the pages are numbered the same way in the UK and US editions. If anyone had the US version and would be so kind to check for me, I'd be most grateful.
Disclaimer: The characters, the quote, and the whole damn universe belong to JKR. I'm just playing for free.

Unlike Him

“Grindelwald. You cannot imagine how his ideas caught me, Harry, inflamed me. Muggles forced into subservience. We wizards triumphant. Grindelwald and I, the glorious young leaders of the revolution.”
                                       ~Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, p. 573

Albus Dumbledore never claimed that he liked Gellert Grindelwald.

It would be an unfortunate word to use, this like. Too weak, certainly. He liked pleasant things and pleasant people, the way he liked his studies or Elphias Doge. Yet at the same time, being able to say that he liked Gellert would at least have a sense of permanence, the subtle underlying cause of a great explosion. Perhaps the feeling would always have remained, perhaps it would have been harmless.

But Albus loved Gellert, and therein lay the difference. Albus loved him, obsessed over him, and missed him. Contemplated him, wanted him, thought he surely would die without him, dreamed of him.

Same for Gellert’s reckless mind. At first, Albus was intrigued by it—and before long that very mind was challenging him continuously, going everywhere his own had feared to penetrate, certainly going everywhere at once. Albus followed—he raced it sometimes, while other times let his own thoughts mingle; this, finally, was unity. Perfection. Power. Gellert’s ideas flowed far more easily than his and led him down the most rewarding path of all.

Yes, Albus thirsted for Gellert’s mind. He did not “like” it.

And then one morning that glass tower collapsed, every bitter shard digging into his skin. Albus still loved Gellert then, no matter how hard he willed that emotion to shift towards hatred. He had become too absorbed, and it would track him to the edge of life.

Albus did not like Gellert Grindelwald. That was his tragedy.

Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: 'Echelon' - 30 Seconds to Mars
Miss M.miss_morland on August 25th, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
He had become too absorbed, and it would track him to the edge of life.

Poor Albus... This was lovely; you captured their relationship so well.
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius1 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on August 25th, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
Poor Albus, indeed. I'm really glad you found the fic fitting! (I'm so paranoid sometimes...)
Court [or the artist formerly known as Court-Knee]: HP AD/GG: We iz otp nao!13_lucky_charms on August 25th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
D'awww you're so good at writing this pairing. ;_; As soon as I get the courage up to write my own fic I'm dedicating it to you <3

And yeah wtf it is down, along with the Gellert Grindelwald fanlisting [which is very le sad because I love the site's layout and everything it had ;.; ]
See you later, instigator: YoshikiLoveoudeteron on August 25th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
Really? Damn, I hope it doesn't come off as stalkerish now, but I can only encourage you to write your own fic. Thanks so much! ^_^

That's such injustice. (Apparently I'm a n00b because I hadn't even seen the Gellert-only fanlist! And now it's gone! NOOO.)
(unspecified) - 13_lucky_charms on August 26th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - 13_lucky_charms on August 26th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lil' Potterstella8h8chang on August 25th, 2008 10:39 pm (UTC)
I don't like your fic, I love it. Firstly, we're going through a fic drought at Grindeldore, and secondly, you're just a master of this pairing. You always manage to capture each character, and the connections between them, perfectly.

WHAT? The fanlisting is down? No! No no no no!
See you later, instigator: Oscar Wilde (by plastic_clown)oudeteron on August 25th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
You've just used my own fic against me in the best possible way! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. (Will post it over at grindeldore too - I'm so used to testing the waters with my f-list when it comes to fic. xD) Anyway, thank you. *glows*

It is, I checked again just now! I'm still hoping it's only some problem with the server that will get resolved, but... gah.
Melmo: The Maraudersmustntgetmy on August 26th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
Mm, absolutely fantastic. As usual you capture the feel of their entire relationship in a few paragraphs.

Sorry I'm not particularly eloquent today.
See you later, instigator: 30StM - Revolution (by blokkengraphics)oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
I'm really glad you think so! (I always have such doubts about fics just before posting. Maybe now I'll start to appreciate it.)

No problem! I know the feeling. ^_~
(unspecified) - mustntgetmy on August 26th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - mustntgetmy on August 27th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 28th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
Ramblings of a madman: Regretghostangel on August 26th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
I really love these short glimpses <3
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius Canon (by snow_blossoms)oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! They're fun to write. ♥
rising_lark: grindeldorerising_lark on August 26th, 2008 08:59 am (UTC)
Aww, this is so good! Great insight into Albus's character and his feelings. I especially loved the third paragraph. ^_^
That scene got me to, the very first reading. It made Dumbledore human for me. (It's page 716 in the US edition, by the way. Like the total geek I am, I had to buy both variants.)
And, are you kidding me? Being able to start and finish something just because you want to - it's so important! I always want to do so many things, even go so far as to plan them, but almost never get round to doing them.
See you later, instigator: Seth et Holth (by pink_playground)oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It's great to hear I've put some insight into such a short fic. Glad you noticed that paragraph. ^_^

Exactly. I had liked Albus before DH, but it was only in this book that he became an intriguing character. And that scene really hit home. (But that's brilliant you got both! Thanks for telling me.)

Yeah, that's what drives me so insane sometimes! Eventually I cave in and just write a very short story to get rid of that feeling. It's good to know you can pull it off, right?
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wufff on August 26th, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
I wanted to quote just the same part but you beat me to it. Loved the idea that Albus had secretly had such ideas before but was too afraid to think about them.

And this is a lucky day. Not only a new fic from euphony_of_love BUT also new drawings from inside_the_veil. I'm off to look at the drawings now :-)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 27th, 2008 11:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 28th, 2008 11:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 29th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 30th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 31st, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
remecielremeciel on August 26th, 2008 06:24 pm (UTC)
You do have a way to end your fic or drabble very effectively - it gives the reader a feeling that this final assertion is a universal truth. Brilliant.
See you later, instigator: Bad Education1 (by greeniefru)oudeteron on August 26th, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
Aw, now that makes me really happy. It's just the effect I was going for! Thanks so much.
scarlet_chan: hidescarlet_chan on August 28th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC)
That was gorgeous. I epsecially like that last line. I've never had a single complaint about your writing. You did amazing, as you always do with your fics. :)
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius1 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on August 28th, 2008 11:54 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! It makes me really happy to hear that.
(unspecified) - scarlet_chan on August 28th, 2008 05:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 28th, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - scarlet_chan on August 28th, 2008 06:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(unspecified) - oudeteron on August 28th, 2008 07:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
wieldy22wieldy22 on August 31st, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
*last line love*

*drabble love*

... and I'm too tired (from sitting in a train all day) to post an appropriate comment.
See you later, instigator: YoshikiLoveoudeteron on August 31st, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

And hey, this comment is short and sweet. ♥
Well, I mean to say, what?: green carnationseilf_emit on September 5th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
Late comment is omfg LATE! Sorries!
Gah, it's been WAY too long - sickness and crap like that intervening. Have an epileptic carnation as an apology.

Now onto the good stuff (i.e. rambling fangirling over your ficlet): First of all I really like how I almost feel I personally know those two WITHOUT HAVING READ A SINGLE WORD OF THE ACTUAL BOOK! XD Anyway, this is such a lovely little thing to read, and don't worry about the longer stories - in the end you can just paste all those drabbles and ficlets together and call it an episodic novel! :D

Yes, Albus thirsted for Gellert’s mind. He did not “like” it.
I know it's very silly, but this line reminds me so much of that whole "Your mind excites me" thing in Sleuth. Weird Bosie crossovers in my mind FTW Y/N?

Also, I think it's entirely unfair how good you are at summing up their relationship so accurately in just a few sentences. *pouts*
See you later, instigator: 30StM - Revolution (by blokkengraphics)oudeteron on September 5th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
Better OMFG LATE than never!
Since I know these are not just excuses, no need to worry about apologizing. Though I do like the carnation... (But please, no more epileptic fits for us!)

I'm glad the fic part is the "good stuff" here! Well, you know how I keep telling you to jump straight to DH you've been following my writing about them for a while, so unless I'm making horrendous characterization errors, it should give you an idea of what they're like. Anyway, it makes me really happy to know you enjoyed this! And next time I post a ficlet, I'm TOTALLY calling it "an instalment of my episodic novel" to make it sound all sophisticated. XD

Ooh, it does fit the Sleuth stuff! Obsession, much? Not that Albus is the Bosie type here, but still.

I practically live with them, that's why! *pets*