?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
06 April 2008 @ 11:23 pm
I'm fairly sure there are worse ways of coping...  

I may have said it before, but I am not fond of April. Too many bad memories attached to this month, too much sadness. This year I should just aim for not dwelling on it.

In other news, I'm having this weird, on-and-off case of writer's block. And I really should study for History tomorrow. Thus, a fic. XD

Title: Delaying the Dawn
Pairing: Albus/Gellert (1899)
Rating: PG/PG-13, I'm not sure. I was in allusion mode. Slightly NSFW
Word Count: ~820
Summary: Sometimes it's enough to just hold on.
Notes: This turned out differently than I'd planned. It was interesting to watch the fic transform as I was writing - it took on a slightly personal note at one point, which made me uncomfortable, but I'm glad I got to write it down. (Don't worry, it's nothing precise.) It's a little experimental again - apparently, I like playing with italics and the present tense. The whole thing is basically a snapshot. I call it a "mega-drabble."
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe was created by JKR. I own nothing and make no money.


Delaying the Dawn


01.


It is late, and Albus can’t concentrate on anything but Gellert, the hands tugging on his hair, and the strange combination of light and shadow that has turned the room into a place out of a dream. He wants to hate how easily Gellert has changed him – at Hogwarts, it would have been nothing to stay awake and alert at his desk as long as necessary when there was work to be done. Now half the night always slips away before he even knows it, leaving the papers he and Gellert had been compiling an ugly mess for him to sort out in the morning.

It’s worth it. It is worth all of that and more.

When their lips meet, the touch feels like the origin and the end of everything to Albus. It cannot be; he has kissed before and will kiss again, most likely this very night. But Gellert has thoroughly intoxicated him. It is only when Albus’s hands sneak under the other’s shirt – to the skin itself, finally – that the walls suddenly reverberate with a loud crash and all this luxurious familiarity is doomed to fade out. The shock couldn’t have been worse if a wild dragon had burned the entire house to the ground.

Through the agonizing seconds it takes Albus to recover, he can feel his whole body tremble. It hurts to be jolted out of such perfection, to be thrown back into the world Gellert has almost caused to disappear.

He has no choice but to get up (making a pathetic attempt at smoothing out the creases on his clothes) and give his sister’s name the customary form of excuse on his way out. As the door falls shut behind him, his struggle to preserve the last glimpse of his friend against whatever disaster he may find in Ariana’s bedroom begins.


02.


“How bad was it?”

Albus waits a moment to answer; re-activating the security charms on his door is a habit he would never dare try to break. If Aberforth feels compelled to berate him for every minute he spends with ‘that evil Durmstrang failure’ instead of tending to his remaining family, Albus is far from lending more substance to those accusations. “The usual,” he finally replies, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “Her room was upside down, but luckily there was no serious damage. She’s asleep now.” To his relief, Gellert seems to have learned never to inquire about Albus’s other sibling in situations like this.

However, that is about the extent of his willingness to keep distance if the arms enveloping Albus from behind and the whisper in his ear are anything to go by. “Albus.” The tone has a certain edge to it, like a warning.

It is understood all too well. Throughout the speech that follows – one day, people like Ariana will not stay locked up for their families to bear all the burden, just you wait, Albus, we will make it so – Albus keeps his eyes closed, listening, hoping. And he can’t resist – he never can – when Gellert stops silent and kisses his neck. His eyes open again then, so that he can watch Gellert fall back on the bed, smiling, inviting Albus to join him.

Such careless joy is the one thing Albus has never discovered in himself. But Gellert has more than enough of it to share.

Every time.

Giving in is no harder now than any other night.


03.


It’s late, almost early morning. But Albus is glad to be awake. The light has changed – the candle burned out to be replaced with the bluish tint of the sky, which is pouring in through the window already, weightless and comforting. At last, in these small hours of the morning, the air feels fresh. Or perhaps it is just lying close to Gellert with neither the obstruction of clothing nor the worse divide of anxiety between them that does the trick.

“So?” Gellert’s breath is heating up his neck. “Have I made you forget?” His hands are caressing Albus’s back gently, binding them together as much as all the rest.

“Until you brought it up, yes,” he can’t help teasing, and it is the proof of their alignment that Gellert only laughs and makes nothing of the complaint. It would be ungrateful, after all, to argue with the way they are.

Young – invincible – together.

And yet, a thousand miles below the surface, some inconsolable worry insists that Albus reassure himself now, in one of those rare moments when it means nothing to tell everything. He has caught himself longing to hear that phrase said in his own voice – the one nobody will ever make him repeat.

“Gellert, you know I love you.”

It’s a matter of fact.

At first, the answer is a smile; then, a glance to the side; and at last, a confidently spoken, “I do.”

Among the three, there is one response Albus does not see.


~~~


Honestly, I don't like this fic as much as With and Against, which formed similarly as this story did, but then I'm not a good judge these days. I just keep thinking everything I write could and should be better. So, would anyone be so kind to tell me if this is good enough for grindeldore?

Hope you enjoyed!

 
 
Current Mood: moodymoody
 
 
 
Melmo: Elder Harrymustntgetmy on April 7th, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
Mm, I really enjoyed this. Again you've done a great job of summing up their relationship in just a few scenes. And braking it off int three parts gives distinction of feeling and a nice little parallel to the last line.

Definitely post it to grindeldore! You're being too hard on yourself. This fic is extremely well done.
See you later, instigator: Seth et Holth (by pink_playground)oudeteron on April 7th, 2008 10:30 am (UTC)
I'm really glad you liked it! Honestly, I split it into parts because I didn't want there to be too much to distract from the important stuff - that is, these three scenes. (But seriously, next time I should let Albus pwn Gellert for a change. Somehow Gellert always wins out in these short stories. xD)

Haha, I know, bad attitude. Thanks for putting it in perspective!
Melmo: rock that rabbit/turtle lovinmustntgetmy on April 8th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC)
The parts really make this a clean read. It was a good choice. (Srsly! Your Gellert is always kicking ass and taking names. It's time for Albus to be on top, heh.)

I try. You gotta remember your awesomness.
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius2 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on April 8th, 2008 09:43 am (UTC)
I'm really glad to hear that from you! (Haha, I know...poor Albus. Last time I let him pwn Gellert - and only at the end, anyway - was in that WWII fic. But it's okay, I'm writing about the Duel of Doom now. Balance, folks, balance. XD)

Aww. If you put it that way! ^_^
Melmo: J K Rowlingmustntgetmy on April 9th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
(Well...come to think of it, technically, Gellert will always pwn Albus in a way. I doubt there's a quiet moment or difficult choice Albus would ever have to make without Gellert in the back of his mind. Oooh, Duel of Doom. Looking forward to it.)

:D
See you later, instigator: Y Tu Mamá También (by hyelle_narmo)oudeteron on April 9th, 2008 08:15 am (UTC)
Well, that's true. It's interesting since otherwise they're just so...equal. But on a different level, there's almost always a struggle going on.
Yay! Duel of Doom FTW! xD
Melmo: there is one memorymustntgetmy on April 10th, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
On paper, as it were, they are very equal. But the theory changes when you put it into reality.
:D
See you later, instigator: YoshikiLoveoudeteron on April 11th, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
That's just it. The whole dynamic has a lot of possibilities to transform one way or another.
Melmo: Daglessmustntgetmy on April 11th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Hence, the beauty of Grindeldore!
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius2 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on April 12th, 2008 10:24 am (UTC)
Indeed!
wieldy22wieldy22 on April 7th, 2008 01:47 pm (UTC)
I like it! Especially the ending :) Put it on Grindeldore!
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius2 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on April 7th, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Will do. ^_^
Well, I mean to say, what?: Oscar Wildeseilf_emit on April 7th, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)
Wow, this is so beautiful and hot.


It’s late, almost early morning. But Albus is glad to be awake. The light has changed – the candle burned out to be replaced with the bluish tint of the sky, which is pouring in through the window already, weightless and comforting. At last, in these small hours of the morning, the air feels fresh. Or perhaps it is just lying close to Gellert with neither the obstruction of clothing nor the worse divide of anxiety between them that does the trick.


I love how you are able to create such a great atmosphere with so few words. *slightly jealous*
See you later, instigator: Y Tu Mamá También (by hyelle_narmo)oudeteron on April 7th, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
Ooh, wonderful compliment! *puts it under a frame*

Atmosphere is my...secret weapon. (Hee.) But I remember I used to overwrite it in my first fics - now it's more like the thing I was going for in the first place. In any case, glad it works for you!
Well, I mean to say, what?: HL Sexy Legsseilf_emit on April 7th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
Hehe *blushes* glad you liked it


OH NOEZ TEH SECRET WEAPON OF DOOM *hides behind sofa*
See you later, instigator: Albus/Gellert (by ushitora_icons)oudeteron on April 7th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
I'll say it again - thank you! XD

Hahaha! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE TEH DOOM...OF DOOM!
rising_lark: grindeldorerising_lark on April 7th, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC)
I'm really glad I decided to check my f-list today. ^_^ This is so lovely, and HOT, and the atmosphere created is just what grindeldore atmosphere should be IMHO. I can practically see the whole thing in my mind. <3 And I love the ending, because it's so cool that Albus doesn't even need to hear that Gellert loves him, he only wants to say the words himself. That is so in character.
See you later, instigator: Albus/Gellert (by ushitora_icons)oudeteron on April 8th, 2008 09:39 am (UTC)
I'm certainly glad you did, too! ^_^

And wow, thank you so much. It's especially nice to hear the atmosphere worked for you - I write that based on the characters most of all. ♥ About the ending, I really think Albus wouldn't give a damn who said it in the end, even if he only made himself feel better. Love is blind and all that jazz...
MissTeacakesmissteacakes on April 10th, 2008 01:54 pm (UTC)
I love this! I've gotta get back into HP fanfiction...

And really, we all judge ourselves pretty harshly. And I'm sorry about not liking April.
See you later, instigator: Albus/Gellert (by ushitora_icons)oudeteron on April 10th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you, thank you! That's really awesome to hear. And about HP fanfic, I can give you recs if you want (plenty of good R/S fic, too). Or I can shamelessly pimp my own stories.

Yeah, I guess we're our own worst critics. April has gotten better now...
remecielremeciel on April 25th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
Honestly, I don't like this fic as much as With and Against
I do think you did a great job for both fics, even though I do like this one best. It leads to another level of sensation from Albus, another side of this character that would fit canon wonderfully - it brings both his duty to his daughter and his absolute love to Gellert; this fic shows it as just a human being in love, and this is wonderful.
Canon just provides us with his magical experiences and not his personal experiences.
I'm definitely looking forward to more of your writing. It doesn't feel like reading a fic but a book - as if a novel. Bravissimo. :D
See you later, instigator: Toshioudeteron on July 2nd, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
Late review reply is embarrassingly late
Well, I'm glad you like this one better! I was worried this fic wouldn't get enough love as I wrote the thing. Sometimes I drive myself into a corner of self-loathing over my own stuff. That's great Albus came across so well for you! Um, I'm sure the "sister" thing is just some kind of typo. ^_^ I always try to get into his head, so it makes me really happy when I'm told I'm succeeding.

Wow. Thank you! I hope some of the "more writing" wish has been fulfiled by now. ♥
remecielremeciel on July 3rd, 2008 06:48 am (UTC)
Re: Late review reply is embarrassingly late
*headdesk* Sister, of course. Not daughter. *shudders*

I do know the feeling of not entirely liking the final result of my own work... I find it quite difficult to deal with Albus's POV. Gellert seems way easier to get around - this is just an impression, maybe I'm completely wrong now. ;)

Totally. *smooches*
See you later, instigator: YoshikiLoveoudeteron on July 3rd, 2008 11:28 am (UTC)
Re: Late review reply is embarrassingly late
Hee, I know. XD

I don't think you can be "wrong" about this. Some people find it harder to relate to Albus, some to Gellert! For me Albus is a bit closer, but I've been writing them so much that it doesn't really matter anymore.

*hugs*
wufff on July 1st, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
It *is* good (again), although I preferred your other stories (those I've read so far, that is).
What I liked best was the beginning: "Now half the night always slips away before he even knows it, leaving the papers he and Gellert had been compiling an ugly mess for him to sort out in the morning." I could easily picture all of it in my mind. Er.. Was it, maybe, also meant as a metaphor? It just struck me as a good comparison because Albus later has to sort out the consequences of those days he spent with Gellert.
See you later, instigator: Remus/Sirius1 (the_8th_square & teh_indyoudeteron on July 2nd, 2008 11:39 pm (UTC)
Well, this is just a quick one-shot, so I suspect my more meticulously planned longer fics could be more appreciated in comparison. Glad you liked that part, though! Yeah, Gellert left Albus with a lot to straighten out (not that he ever did, but that's another story). Anyway, thank you.