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10 June 2009 @ 11:52 pm
Long since finished, finally posted  

I wrote this ficlet months ago, but circumstances intervened. I wouldn't like to look like I'm planning to stop writing, though, so here you go. Because it asks for this line of thought at the moment, I don't think this fic compares in any way to the epic story I posted a year ago almost to the day. But, it's a tiny little something. Feedback appreciated; I may be out of shape.

Title: Inaction
Pairing: Past Albus/Gellert
Rating: SFW
Word Count: ~500
Summary: Albus enjoys no calm on quiet days.
Disclaimer: The HP universe is JKR's. I make no profit and intend no copyright infringement.


Inaction


One would think, given all the tasks Albus Dumbledore needs to accomplish every day, that his life would be a flurry of motion with barely any time for rest. And it is. Outside, everything is stark and fast and frenziedly logical.

It would also seem that his famed mind’s capacity would be too great to allow for detaching itself from all reflection if sufficiently distracted by these daily goals—and it is. Albus thinks no matter what he does, usually preoccupied with one thing and contemplating another. He struggles against this habit at times when he wishes nothing more than to simply be, but even then he knows it’s as impossible to abandon his ways as it would be to suppress his fondness for sweets of all sorts. His mind has led him all his life—for better or for worse—and will continue to be his trusty guide, right up the steep slope to the inevitable end.

Days, nights sometimes blur into one indefinable in-between, and always Albus thinks restlessly. His friends assume that inaction would be too painful for a man such as him to bear—and it is. Sometimes, it seems that the necessity of his pursuit of what needs to be done is double: for the wizarding world at large as well as for Albus himself. The more exhausting a task, the more welcome its effect of filling his time with everything but recollections.

When, occasionally, Albus does find himself alone with nothing to do, he tries to maintain his composure. There is, after all, no one to witness the fight. He reads, he outlines his new article for one high-profile periodical or another, he converses with the portraits in his office, he paces. But sometimes his path strays towards the Pensieve or his mind starts to wander, and the room is filled with the scent of summer or with the deadly rustle of spells. Faded snippets of action, movement, sense. Albus’s eyes fall closed, and he can no more resist the pull of all these things than he can forget their distant origins.

He goes through everything in his waking dreams until he goes to bed, and then he makes his peace with the shadow. Most would find the fact that Albus Dumbledore, of all people, still thinks of a former terror of Europe with feelings other than righteousness and loathing a disgraceful revelation. Some would not, perhaps, but they would never quite grasp his reluctance to stop dwelling on the past. A few would observe that it is not so surprising for Albus Dumbledore to be at the mercy of his own feelings, considering how often he had plucked the reason for the behaviour of others from their emotional state, and considering that he always has placed a great deal of importance on love. This is what makes him Albus Dumbledore. He might, after all, be only behaving in the manner most natural to him when it puts no others in any danger.

And he is.

 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
 
wieldy22wieldy22 on June 11th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
Beautiful and sad. I like the repetition of 'and it is'. :)
See you later, instigator: Velvet Goldmine - Fucking Feel Itoudeteron on June 11th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks - and I'm glad you noticed! I wanted to have a kind of chorus in the story. :D
Ramblings of a madman: Regretghostangel on June 11th, 2009 07:23 am (UTC)
Beautiful and contemplative, and more than a bit sad. Good work <3
See you later, instigator: Dr. Manhattan - photographoudeteron on June 11th, 2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! :D
Melmo: This is where I fell in love with Siriusmustntgetmy on June 11th, 2009 08:14 am (UTC)
What a fantastic portrait of Albus! As usual you manage to draw him in a fairly small amount of space. I really like how you allude to Gellert and Albus's time spent with Gellert without actually coming out and mentioning him (particularly the scent of summer or with the deadly rustle of spells). Very lovely.
See you later, instigator: House/Wilson Loud (by enfermeira_chan)oudeteron on June 11th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
I'm pleased you used the word "portrait" since that's what I wanted the fic to be more than anything else. Gellert is just this shadow hanging over everything - I'm glad that worked for you since I was experimenting with the vagueness. Thanks!
Melmo: before you gomustntgetmy on June 12th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
Well you really encapsulated Albus - you always do a really good job of that - so it was hard not to see it any other way. Ah, Gellert, always the looming shadow.
See you later, instigator: Rorschach - cold worldoudeteron on June 12th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Albus is easy for me to get. And Gellert does have this shadow presence the moment he steps out of the picture, eh?
Melmo: read bitchesmustntgetmy on June 13th, 2009 07:00 am (UTC)
Well he left such an imprint it would be hard for him not to.
See you later, instigator: Brokeback Mountain (by billy_kaulitz)oudeteron on June 13th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)
Just what I mean, yes.
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See you later, instigator: YTMT - kiss (by hyelle_narmo)oudeteron on June 11th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
Can I make a cover for this fic just to put what you said here on it? Because that's the effect I was hoping for and I couldn't have said it better. :D
It shows in the best possible way!

Well, summaries for short fics always have the risk of giving away too much. So I've learned to make them basically just teasers and save the actual point for later... xD

*waves Gellert away with Albus's, erm, wand* Thanks again! :D
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See you later, instigator: Luna Seaoudeteron on June 12th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
For the posh edition, then. XD I'm glad it worked for you that way, in any case!
Of course - the ego needs stroking, don't you know. XD

Heh, you don't read summaries first like a nice audience? But hey, I thought the contrast was ironic myself, so if that brings it out... :D

Albus: *steals Gellert's deathstick* FIGHT, SCOUNDREL!
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See you later, instigator: Ozymandias - Orchestrateoudeteron on June 13th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC)
I'm sure that's just what you always wanted deep down. XD
Better be honest about it. :P

That's like the people who only read instruction manuals after everything else fails, minus the necessary "failing" part. XD

Albus: You really have no shame. *ties him anyway*
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See you later, instigator: Watchmen - Kickass Adrianoudeteron on June 14th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Mwahaha!

*you really need to learn not to mention him so I can think all that is from your own head* XD

And it goes down in history!
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See you later, instigator: Bad Education2oudeteron on June 16th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
Well, it's a good thing to be conditioned to do in today's day and age. XD

Like PG-300. It's really a shame. XD
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See you later, instigator: Birkin&Wesker - in secretoudeteron on June 18th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)
Better than the other way around. XD

I hope they wouldn't make that just PG.
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See you later, instigator: Dante - Fuck this (by houdini_splicer)oudeteron on June 21st, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
XD

Okay, I could imagine how that works... except if we took it literally, pretty much no one could watch it! Except immortal people, I guess. XD
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See you later, instigator: Watchmen - Kickass Adrianoudeteron on June 22nd, 2009 12:38 pm (UTC)
Haha, true - those two are more privileged than most people. Or they could add together their ages and pretend the last missing hundred didn't matter. XD
Miss M.miss_morland on June 11th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
It's nice to see you writing again - and such a lovely snippet, too! I particularly like this line: But sometimes his path strays towards the Pensieve or his mind starts to wander, and the room is filled with the scent of summer or with the deadly rustle of spells.

See you later, instigator: 30StM - Dropletsoudeteron on June 11th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC)
It feels good to be back in business, too! And thanks - I think memory really works that way, or at least for me it does. Transporting you into the scene and all that.